The Most SelfGratifying Christmas Present Ever
by LittleMissBones
Summary: Or, A Romantic Comedy in Three Parts. Written for Lost HoHoHo 2010 for Jac Danvers. Everybody knows Daniel and Charlotte are in love with each other, except Daniel and Charlotte. Miles decides to get the two of them together  with help from Sun and Jin .


**A/N: **This is for Jac Danvers, who requested that Miles get Daniel and Charlotte together for her prompt. I absolutely loved all of your prompts and just might end up writing your Horace/Amy one for fun! But you understand why I had to write this first. Enjoy!

Everybody knew.

He was absolutely sure of that. _Everybody_ on this goddamn island knew what was going on, had recognized the fact that two certain people felt differently about each other than two people normally would. That they had felt this way since they had first met. While he had been stuck hog-tied with a grenade in his mouth, they had the chance to become even more lovey-dovey and irritating. Well of course it wasn't surprising; something was bound to happen on a boat or island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Except, you know, they were supposed to have figured out by now that they had those icky, boy-likes-girl/girl-likes-boy feelings for each other that only happened in situations of extreme loneliness or extreme horniness. Or in some cases, a love that was so innocent and pure that it was bound to last 'til death do us part.' Unfortunately, life wasn't a romantic comedy, and a good and proper realization with an accompanying make out in the jungle was yet to be had.

Miles had the sinking feeling that if something (no matter how small) didn't happen soon, his head was going to explode.

It's just that if the two people closest to him concentrated a little less on being super geniuses and a little more on their people skills, it would save him a whole heck of a lot of headaches. Especially when he noticed them together in the kitchen complex, laughing and joking and sharing accidental brushes of skin that caused little sparks to fly in the air. The pea-sized, shriveled up, romantic portion of his brain was currently going nuts with the hollapalooza of warm and fuzzies currently being displayed in front of him.

The rest of his blackened mind, on the other hand, was threatening to hurl.

"So you want to do something about Daniel and Charlotte too?"

Miles looked up to see that Sun had taken a seat next to him in the sand. The Korean woman had the same look of irritation on her face that currently graced his, and as she continued to focus on the two people that were the bane of their sanity, the expression on her face went from irritation to just plain impatience. Miles let his head sink to his knees in mock pain. "Do we really have an option? I've watched this go on between them since the first day they were on the boat. He pines over her every single second of the day and the only thing she does about it is to egg it on whether consciously or not. Makes me feel kind of bad for him that he's in love with someone who's never going to show her feelings. But I absolutely hate them both for putting everybody through this torture.

Sun agreed with a sigh, "I thought it was cute at first, but now it's just aggravating me. If my husband of all people can see that they're in love with each other and they don't, you really don't have any choice but to help get them together Miles."

I knew you'd understand, I mean it's an absolute pain in the ass…wait a minute…_I'll _have to do it?" Oh hell no. He was already irritated enough by Daniel and Charlotte's lack of attention to one certain detail, but his over-attentiveness to that did not give him reason to get them together. "Why me? I'm the most un-romantic person in the world. And besides, it's not like they pay attention to me when I try to talk to them. They think I'm some idiot."

Sun gave him a look that instantly shut him up. "You don't actually have to sit them down and talk to them about this, Discretion is always the best option."

"Oh, and how am I going to be discrete around," he waved in the general direction of Daniel and Charlotte, "Mr. Oblivious and Ms. Clue-Seeker?"

"Remember the Christmas celebration Jack is planning on having either tomorrow or the next day? This island is full of plant life, I am sure that I can find something that will pass for mistletoe. Then it's up to you to get the two of them underneath it and we'll see how it goes from there."

Miles rolled his eyes. "And exactly how am I supposed to get them together underneath the damn plant?"

"You are a natural liar, yes? Improvise. I have a feeling that if we don't intervene as soon as possible, Daniel's going to try and make a move. And that might end very badly."

"You're right," Miles sighed. "As much as I want them to realize they have feelings for each other on their own, I'd hate it if doing so ends up ruining what they already have." He turned to Sun, "I've been meaning to explore the jungle some more, maybe I can find out some more about the people Keamy's band got. Mind if you have some company for Operation: Mistletoe?"

Sun nodded. "I'll need an extra pair of eyes – to watch out for Others," she told him as she stood, "At least Jin will understand, maybe even try to help, when I explain what's going on."

"And besides, even if the plan doesn't work," Miles grinned, "For us it would be the most egregious, self-gratifying Christmas present ever."


End file.
